previously: part 1 & part 2

ana is driving home in the car, the thrift store well behind her.  she is trying to push thoughts of the couch to the back of her mind. her cell phone rings. being a law abiding citizen, ana checks her blindspot, indicates and carefully pulls over to the side to answer. she pulls out the phone’s antenna (just kidding. it doesn’t have an antenna. she hasn’t found one of those old ones, yet.)…

ana: hello?

mr.MadeItSo: hey, sorry, i was in the middle of [insert some very important business meeting thing, ana didn’t catch the details]… what’s the story about this couch?

[ana begins to rattle off the virtues of the couch of her dreams, getting that daydreamy look again, but trying to keep it together. how silly to get so emotional over a couch!]

ana: but it’s ok. i mean, we’ll find something else. something that we… both like.

narrator: good luck with that.

mr.MadeItSo: if you like it that much, just go get it.

ana: wha?

mr.MadeItSo: i would never stand in the way of your dreams.

[*click….tires screech* u-ie! (short for u-turn, how do you spell that?)]

ana: i bet it’s gone. someone bought it. i just know it! how could it still be there? i can’t believe it. no no, if it’s gone, it wasn’t meant to be. but that’s just hogwash people say…

narrator: did you just say “hogwash”?

ana: yes, hogwash people say to deal with disappointment caused by their own indecisiveness! stupidstupid! i should have just bought it when i was there! i’ll be SO disappointed to have to say goodbye to that couch twice. i’m sure it’s gone. but what if it’s there still? no no… don’t set yourself up for disappointment ana. it must be gone.

narrator: get a grip! it’s a couch. it’s a thing. a thing. remember? you are usually so level-headed and cool about material possessions.

ana: oh, zip it toots! i’ve never possessed material as amazing as that couch and you know it!

narrator: drive safely…

hang in there, dear reader. the conclusion of this saga, next time…

click here for part 4.

in part 1, our heroine, (with an “e” not to be confused with the heroin without an “e”… although, the thrill of a thrifty find can bring a high similar to a chemically-induced state of bliss. or so we hear, not that we would ever encourage that sort of thing), ana, had found the couch of her dreams. today, we continue with her plight to try and convince her husband (who has a strong aversion to all “old pieces of junk”).

wish her well, dear reader. she has her work ahead of her!

[ana is sitting on the couch in the thrift store. she has just received the following text from her husband. it is in response to her sending a photo of the couch.]

mr.MadeItSo: you’re kidding right?

[ana texts back, painstakingly spelling things out to convey the gravity of this situation.]

ana: i guess i got my answer :(

[never understimate the power of a sad face, even in the presence of bad texting.]

mr.MadeItSo: no i thought u were kidding. u really like it?

[to be fair, it’s understandable why mr.MadeItSo may have thought it was a joke. ana has a habit of pointing out ridiculous items in stores and pretending it would be “perfect” in their home.  it is hilarious. she is so funny.  poor mr.MadeItSo…]

ana texts: yes. can we get it?

text received: — dead air. nothing. no response. ana tries calling. no answer.–

narrator: what? where is he? … ugh.

[the store refuses to allow ana to place a hold on the couch, not even with a deposit. the store is closing in a couple of hours, and ana has to go and pick her kids up momentarily.]

narrator: to buy or not to buy? worst case scenarios always help me with these decisions… if i buy it, i’m out $149. but i have this amazing couch which, worst case, he hates. if i have to get rid of it i’m sure i could resell it for twice that amount. if i leave it here, someone else will surely grab it in an instant.

[the store clerk, having recovered from her earlier encounter with ana, returns and offers to hold the couch for half an hour. “but not a moment longer.” they run a mean game. it buys a little more time to think and wait for a response from the abyss of mr.MadeItSo’s very important job. but the phone line is empty. what to do what to do!]

[but then suddenly, it’s over. just like that, she loses hope. uncharacteristically. ana lets the clerk know that she will not be buying the couch. that’s it. done. it just didn’t work out and she doesn’t want to force it. she walks quickly out of the store, without so much as a single glance back.]

[the careful observer might have noticed the glint of a teardrop in the corner of ana’s eye. or it may have just been allergies. those thrift stores can be dusty.]

to be continued…click here for part 3

——————-

cast of characters

ana – our heroine, who is stuck in the past, and loves old things.

narrator – ana’s thoughts.

mr.MadeItSo – ana’s husband, who is lightyears ahead and doesn’t really like old things.

lady at the thrift store – an innocent bystander; another victim of ana’s wrath.

teen – thrift store worker/couch lifter/grunter with wonky pupils and the munchies.

the couch – an old victorian beauty who has retained her feminine curves and quiet grace but who has recently undergone a facelift (don’t tell. she’s a bit shy about it).

——————–

[ana walks into thrift store, heading towards the housewares section first, as usual.  looks through some junk before noticing a golden glimmer through the spaces of the dusty shelves. she pokes her head around, and can not believe her eyes.]

ana: no way!

[ana, heart racing, walks over to an ornate victorian style couch, running her hands over the curves of the wood which is in fabulous condition.]

narrator: i hope this couch has a rip in it or a cigarette burn or something, otherwise i will have to buy this, and mr.madeItSo (he who loves modern decor) would never be happy with such a thing in the house…maybe if i sit on this couch, it will be really uncomfortable and then i wont want to buy it. yes, that’s it.

[ana sits down on the couch]

narrator: it’s comfortable.

[ana looks at the fabric and turns over the cushions]

narrator: it’s almost brand new. reupholstered recently…uh oh…how am i going to explain how this followed me home?

[ana looks around a little self-consciously, then gets down on her hands and knees, sticking her head directly underneath the couch for clues, her one hand supporting herself on the ground, the other hand pulling her shirt over her back, modestly. cricks her neck in the process…]

[reads the tag]: upholstered in canada using all new materials…

[ana sits back on couch, a little dizzy, mostly because she just stood up from her contorted position underneath the couch, but also partly because she can not believe the find!]

narrator: i can not believe the find! it’s perfect.  $149 but we need a couch in the living room. right now, it’s just an empty space since we moved the old couch to the basement…

[ana pulls out her cell phone circa 2004 (everything is “vintage” in her world, especially technology — much to mr.MadeItSo’s horror and ultimately, dismay).]

[ana takes a photo of couch to send to mr.MadeItSo, who is away on business doing very important work… but this is even more important. surely he can be interrupted.]

[stumbles with texting using the phone’s keypad. she’s not very good at this thing. she has a phone plan with a ridiculous number of free minutes per month. she uses up about 4 of those minutes each month if she’s feeling particularly chatty.]

ana texts: can w3 gel this coach?

[considers deleting and retyping, but that would take too long.]

narrator: besides, he’ll know what i mean… married all these years, he’ll know. and he’ll see the photo i just took and he will see that it is the couch of my dreams, since he knows me so well. and he is so wonderful and supportive that he will be totally on board for this purchase! how could he not?

[continues sitting on the couch; a store worker walks by glancing towards ana.  ana, who is unknowingly snarling with bloodshot eyes, has a death grip on the cushion with one hand, thumb hovering over “send” with her other hand.]

narrator: back off lady, this couch is mine!

[ana sends the rough approximation of what may be called a “photograph” along with the cryptic text message.]

can w3 gel this coach?

[ana waits; considers wandering around a bit to pass the time, but decides against it. retains unspoken rule of thrifting: if i’m sitting on it, it’s mine!]

[*bloop! you have mail!*]

[ana reads message…]

mr.MadeItSo: “you’re kidding, right?”

ana: (sigh) this will be harder than i thought….

to be continued…click here for part 2!

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i shared this post with selena and her readers at apron thrift girl. as well as with rhoda and her readers on southern hospitality.  thank you both for the chance to share with others! ~ ana

© imadeitso, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to ana at imadeitso.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.